All Cried Out.

My mood is lifting. I used up all my reserve stock of tears on Friday night, when I received the devastating news from my Mother that Lucy Log -award winning comedienne, confidant, and beloved family pet, had gone to sleep for one last time, at the ripe old age of 14.

Here's to you Log, in memory of grass fights, seaside trips and marching around the house together. I will always remember that your favourite colour is silver, and that it was never a good idea to leave you unsupervised with a turkey carcass.

I keep meaning to start painting again. My degree was painting, and although my final show was quite diverse, incorporating textile pieces, assemblages, photographs of performance pieces, and even cakes I baked, painting was the central theme that tied everything together.

I think painting scares me a bit these days. It can be labour-intensive, and a lot harder to fix than simply shifting pieces around like I can do with the collaging I've been consumed by over the past couple of years.

I get quite obsessive about things, and often feel that if I can't do something perfectly I shouldn't do it at all. This is difficult when painting! And doubting my technical abilities! It's like when on my art foundation course I was told I had no idea how to use colour. Colours should only be used in a piece if they can be justified and contribute to the overall meaning. My reaction was to avoid colour completely!

I think for now I've gone about as far as I can go with the collaging, and perhaps I'm ready for a new challenge. The joy of creating an image entirely my own, instead of combining things created by others, that already exist.

I've been playing around with sketch books again. Now that is magical! I like the way they can document a progression of ideas. And I like the privacy of a book format, what is hidden between the pages. Like a secret diary. Maybe I'll share some old sketch books with you one day...

Until I finally have the courage to put paintbrush to canvas...or board...or anything (!), here's a few examples of what it might just look like...